Are you anxious about losing connection with your loved ones? Do you find it difficult to speak up in groups? Alternatively, are you constantly pushing away thoughts of a painful breakup? Do you avoid difficult conversations?

These are the questions you can ask yourself to find out your attachment style: anxious or avoidant. NVC usually reserves labels for jars! However, sometimes asking these questions can help you to bring clarity to how to proceed.

Anxious attachment

If you’re anxious about losing connection with your loved ones, you may be experiencing anxious attachment. NVC can help you to become aware of this, the feeling of anxiety in your body and your longing for love, connection and belonging. It can help you to realize that these needs may have been hungry for a long time, possibly since childhood. This takes time to learn, that’s why we offer courses.

NVC can also help you to check the connection with others by empathizing with them. You no longer need to guess how they are feeling, because you can ask empathically. In time this sense of self-connection and confidence may even spill over into speaking up in groups.

Avoidant attachment?

Alternatively, if you are constantly pushing away thoughts of a painful breakup, you may be experiencing avoidant attachment. NVC can help you to acknowledge the painful feelings and make space for grief and mourning around losing love and connection. It can help you to realize that grief and celebration are two sides of the same coin, and both essential for our wellbeing.

In time, this willingness to make space for grief and mourning may spill over into a renewed interest in going into difficult conversations. It may even lead to an understanding that moving towards conflict will increase your sense of love and connection.

How NVC can help

Get more information and book on one of our current in-person and online NVC courses.