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Why NVC ​works

Posted on by Gesine Schrader
  ​​​​Recently I saw a post on social media giving '5 reasons your relationship might not be saved with NVC'. I also remember that a participant told me that she was listening for two hours to her sister. Afterwards she felt exhausted and disconnected. Her efforts didn't seem to bear fruit. Does this mean Nonviolent Communication (NVC) doesn't work? I understand the questio...
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The science of love

Posted on by Shantigarbha
What is love? I’m writing a book on love from a Buddhist perspective so I’ve been reading up on the science of love. Evidence from various scientific disciplines suggests that love is central to human experience. Ultimately we rely on it for our health, wellbeing and survival. However, the same studies also confirm that love is a complicated phenomenon, and not reducible to one explana...
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Speaking my truth

Posted on by Shantigarbha
When we speak our truth, we embrace all of who we are. Living this practice in our lives, bringing this wisdom and compassion out in the company of others, asks us to be completely ourselves, to bring forward our truth in words and actions... Speaking our truth may open up things that may be a little "ouch-y", but when they appear we can bring our empathy, we can bring our presence. In that way,...
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Unlocking conflict: impact and intention

Posted on by Shantigarbha
Have you ever heard a conversation between a couple or friends along these lines? "You're so controlling. Why does everything have to be on your terms?" And the other one replies, "You've violated my boundaries!" How do we support such a conflict? In moments of tension and conflict, it can helpful to introduce a distinction between perceived impact and the intention behind the an action....
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Spaciousness: guided by the elements

Posted on by Gesine Schrader
Dhanakosa on the shores of Loch Voil I’m just back from a seven-day retreat with 20 women in the Scottish Highlands. I still feel the connection in my body. There's connection to myself, connection with the people around me and connection to wilderness. It feels warm and peaceful in my heart, relaxed and content in my stomach and spacious in my chest. There is also a sense of gratitude to Shan...
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A vision of interconnectedness in a time of climate and ecological emergency

Posted on by Shantigarbha
Gesine and I recently returned from our annual NVC Community camp. Sitting outside in the evenings with clear skies and little light pollution, I had a chance to renew my acquaintance with the stars. They reminded of the image of Indra's Net, a traditional Buddhist symbol of the truth of interconnectedness, of how things arise in dependence upon conditions. The Avatamsaka Sutra refers to the image...
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