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Deeper Understandings

Is there life on Zoom? Lockdown reflections

Photo: Sandie Clarke on Unsplash How are you doing under lockdown? Are you furloughed or working from home? Or are you an essential worker, going out each day to keep the infrastructure going? I guess that we're all scared, to varying degrees. Some of us, like my mother and sister, are in high-risk groups. They just want to keep their lives. Others, like myself and my partner, don't see ou...
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Eco-compassion

Last night I attended the Eco-Crisis Practice Group at the Bristol Buddhist Centre. The theme was how do you engage with the climate and ecological crisis in a sustainable way? People shared how they oscillate between anxiety about the future and diversion, indifference and shut-down. The Buddhist tradition suggests that compassion is the only sustainable fuel around. Everything else saps your en...
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The Age of the Gift Draws Nigh

At the end of each module of this year's NVC Year Training, we've gone through a ritual that is new and unfamiliar to the participants. We transparently share our expenses, income and hopes for sustainability with the participants. We invite the participants to consider what value they put on what they have learned on the module - if resources were no obstacle, what would you give? Then we invite...
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Just listen!!

Last month we started our NVC Year Training with the theme of Building Community. On the first module, for various reasons we encountered intense conflict. Once we had introduced the idea of transforming conflict one participant found the courage to propose that if someone had an issue with another participant, they could speak to that person directly, one-to-one, rather than in front of the group...
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Parenting – how I would like to exercise authority

Making giant bubbles at Summerfest 2019 Spending nearly a week with 50 children of all ages at this year's Summerfest brought up some thoughts around parenting different kinds of authority. In the last blog post Shantigarbha mentioned the lake as a hazard and our process to find community agreements. We discussed the risks of the lake and how to protect the lives of the children. Mainly adu...
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Creating community at the Summerfest

We've just returned from the fifth NVC Summerfest, full of the joys of living in community. We feel enriched by the warmth of connection, and fulfilled with community meetings, dancing, singing, drumming, and sharing NVC. Wow! Learning, fun, community and play all in one place! Part of creating community is clarifying a sense of purpose. The vision of the Summerfest is to create a world wh...
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Clowning – more than silly and stupid

A couple of weeks ago I attended a clowning workshop. My intention was to feel more at ease when I'm in front of a group or a camera. I love play and humour and at the same time I find it stressful to deal with my anxiety.  I really could feel an urge to change this issue and I was eager to find out how can I enjoy myself while standing up front. After some research, I came across clowni...
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You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows

I'm committed to non-violence, personally and politically. Looking to the past for inspiration, Gandhi turned non-violence into a powerful political instrument. More recently, Extinction Rebellion has done the same in relation to the climate crisis. Gandhi encouraged us to be the change that we wish to see in the world. This means transforming our inner world to be in alignment with our va...
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Scheduling time to do… nothing!

A week ago I came back from six days visiting friends and family in Germany. There were two days of manic preparation, then I was off to lead a three-day residential workshop. Two days after our return from the workshop, we drove to Cornwall for some carefree time. When I had planned this carefree period, I was aware that things might be tight, however, I was not fully aware of the impact. The re...
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Internationality as a way of life

One of the key distinctions that we talk about in Nonviolent Communication is the difference between dependence, independence and interdependence. Dependence is when we meet our needs for safety and being valued at the cost of choice and freedom. Independence is when we meet our needs for choice and freedom at the expense of safety and being valued. Interdependence is when we meet our needs for ...
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Are you sometimes afraid to speak your truth?

There have been moments in my life when I wanted to speak from my heart authentically and – if possible – also to take care for the connection. However, I didn’t know how to do this because I felt emotionally trapped. I chose to stay quiet to avoid conflict. I felt afraid of speaking “my truth”, because there was an inner voice that told me, it’s not safe to say what’s alive in me. If I kept quie...
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Gift Culture

When it came to money, I remember Marshall Rosenberg saying, "Never do anything for money!" and "Find what you love doing, and ask people to support you to continue doing it." I still feel tickled and curious about his challenge to find worth in a different place than money, and to contribute to life in a sustainable way.   One of the communities that I belong to is the South A...
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