I’ve just returned from nine days on a CNVC International Intensive Training (IIT) in Denmark. There were 80 people from Denmark, The Netherlands, Germany, Austria, UK, and further afield such as Bulgaria, Finland, Sweden, and Japan. I really enjoyed being with a group of people who were keen to learn NVC. In my role as attending trainer I was asked to support the event as a ‘flying Giraffe’. Even though I can’t fly, I can be spontaneous and flexible if needed 🙂

How do you experience conflict?

The volunteers at the venue – members of a spiritual community – were fascinated by what they saw and requested a session. So I offered an NVC Intro to them. In the opening round, most of the participants already heard about the ‘Giraffe language’ – their way to name Nonviolent Communication.

I started with a game to explore how we experience conflict. Do you react to conflict like a snail – withdrawing from the person or situation? Or sometimes like a dog – barking and snarling? My intention was to explore the subject of conflict with humour and bring it closer. I invited people to reflect on their own experience with conflict, which might vary from situation to situation.

Words are windows or walls

Then we looked at the language we use in conflict situations, and we collected what we usually say or hear in these moments. It’s another step to bring familiarity to the topic of conflict. Here I could quote Marshall Rosenberg when he said “Words are windows or walls”. There is a difference in the impact on the relationship if we come from a place of our thinking (should-thinking, demands, threats, judgements, blame, deserve-thinking, no-choice-thinking etc.) or from our hearts (feeling and needs).

The Tree of Compassionate Connection

I finished the session with the ‘Tree of Compassionate Connection’ to explain how Nonviolent Communication (NVC) can support compassionate connection. It allows us to connect with ourselves and others in our humanity without judging and blaming. More broadly, NVC has a vision of social change. And from a ‘spiritual’ perspective, NVC means living in the consciousness that everybody’s needs matter, including all beings on the planet earth.

I found it joyful to be able to share NVC with this group and loved hearing their feedback at the end. Sharing NVC is one of the topics we cover in our forthcoming NVC Year Training, starting October 2024. Click here for information and booking.