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Empathy

Parenting: turning conflict into cooperation

parent holding child at the beach
A constant power struggle What do we want for ourselves and our children? When we ask this question in our parenting workshops, we always hear the same answers: respect, care, cooperation and responsibility. Sadly, the picture we get from people talking about their daily parenting lives is different. We hear of parents in conflict with their children around everyday activities. Whether that's ...
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The gift of gratitude

Open grave strewn with flowers
On Saturday I accompanied Shantigarbha to the funeral of his Buddhist teacher, Sangharakshita — founder of the Triratna Buddhist Order and Community. It was the first time I had participated in a Buddhist funeral ceremony. Sangharakshita was 93 years old, and had started the community 50 years ago. The community has grown over the years and is now spread over six continents, so people came to t...
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Empathy Archery

Empathy is a respectful understanding of another person’s experience. Since I’ve been learning how to empathize, I've often got it ‘wrong’. What I mean is that the person I was listening to told me, either by a shake of the head or by a ‘No’, that my empathy guess hadn’t landed. I had the sense of firing arrows towards a distant target, and most of them falling short or going wide. At those moment...
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